Elder James E Faust stated: “Occasionally someone suggests it be appropriate to have a computer dating program set up under church auspices, or some kind of marriage search committee set up so that the Church could more directly be involved in marriage partner selection. My response to such suggestions is that the selection process for eternal companions is so sacred that no one can or should intrude into the making of these choices except the individuals themselves, who should assume and bear that responsibility with the divine guidance, parental counsel, and in some cases if necessary the help of a wise bishop.”
As many of you know, I love to help the creation of relationships move along with my friends. I am thrilled when they decide to become married. I am willing to create situations where people have opportunities to meet. I encourage stepping out of the normal activities and actually dating to see if many are able to spend time with each other in more than the dances or even the firesides that are available. As one wise friend told me: Date for at least 1 year before you make a decision on your marriage. See him in all of his “Seasons”. How is he going to be when he is happy? Stressed? Angry? Frustrated? With his children? With his brothers and sisters? With his parents? What are the holidays like with him? What happens when you want to go out with “The Girls” and he is not invited to go with you? Or, even when you go out to an activity that he cannot go to-how is he going to react? How are you going to react in the same situations?
Elder Boyd K Packer stated: “If you desire the inspiration of the Lord in this crucial decision, you must live the standards of the Church, and you must pray constantly for the wisdom to recognize those qualities upon which a successful union may be based. You must do the choosing, rather than to seek for some one-and-only so-called soul mate, chosen for you by someone else and waiting for you. You are to do the choosing. You must be wise beyond your years and be humbly prayerful unless you choose amiss.” I admit that I have been guilty of this myself. I missed many good opportunities because I felt that there was someone waiting for me to get my act together before he meet me. Yes, I have been married more than my “Fair Share”. But each time, I found that I have taken the time to make changes within myself and with each choice, there is much growth.
I find that many of my friends believe that the computer dating programs out there could be a good tool for them. I agree, it is a good place to start, but you need that face-to-face communication before you can really decide that your relationship is a good one. I personally married someone I met online. 1 year later, we were divorced because he did not tell me that he was only using me to get a green card to stay in the country and had left my home 3 days after he received it. I know of another who met a wonderful guy online and married him. She is quite happy. I am thrilled for her.
No matter if you use the dating service programs or not, they should be used as a tool and a beginning stepping stone there is much that you can learn from the other person if you get up and personal instead of using the computer between you.
I have much hope that these words that I share with you help in some way to make our lives better.