I have a friend who was having issues concerning her dating and finding the “Perfect One”. She was introduced to many really good guys (I know, I am one of those who introduced her to them) and she finds many failings on each of them.
So, I have been thinking about this a lot:
There are many myths concerning marriage and here is one of them-
“We Chose a marriage partner before we were born.”Joseph Fielding Smith said about this: “We have no scriptural justification, however, for the belief that we had the privilege of choosing our parents and our life companions in the spirit world. This belief has been advocated by some, and it is possible that in some instances it is true, but it would require too great a stretch of the imagination to believe it to be so in all, or even in the majority of cases. Most likely we came where those in authority decided to send us. Our agency may not have been exercised to the extent of making choice of parents and posterity.”
To me this means that finding the “Right One”, “the Perfect One” is not necessarily a reality. We need to try our best to become the perfect one in our own hearts. That attracts others who would make wonderful companions to us and gives us many opportunities to choose.Personally, I had an opportunity to choose someone who would be a good match for me. I prayed about him and found that yes, we would be good together. But, as in all cases, he also had the right to choose. He did not choose me. This did not hurt as bad as it could have because I knew that we both have the free agency to choose. There are many opportunities out there to be with someone who would be a very good match to us.
I also find that I had another one that on both sides would be a good match-from our points of view, but when I went to pray about this, I found the answer was to be “No”. That does not mean a horrible thing, we could be great friends, but not knowing what our Savior knows means that he would be able to guide us to the right choices.I found that when I began to open my heart to love unconditionally, that when I prayed about the guys that I dated, the answers changed. “Well Mary, what do you want?” would be a response that would come back. I found that I began to see many opportunities that never opened up to me before. No, I did not find someone who matched me at that time, but I found many great and wonderful friends who would be there for me anytime that I would need them, who support me and when I make dumb choices are not afraid to speak up to make sure that I am clear in my thinking.
I hope that my thoughts are helping in changing and opening up worlds that were not thought of before.