According to Spencer W. Kimball, “Every divorce is the result of selfishness on the part of one or another or both parties to a marriage contract. Someone is thinking of self-comforts, conveniences, freedoms, luxuries, or ease.”
As I look back in my past, I see this is very true. There are too many people saying “What can you do for me?” instead of asking “What can I do for you?” or “What can we do together to make this work?” In a world where we have been focused on instant gratification, selfishness has become very strong and can easily destroy any relationship. This may sound a little unusual, but I am grateful for the “Recession”.
We need to re-adjust our thinking. We need to think back to when our parents (or grandparents or even great-grandparents) went through the great depression. What was important to them? What did they focus on? They were not focused on the newest cars, the pools connected to their homes. Instead they were focused on working together as a family.
According to the news, I heard a clip where they were stating that many divorces have been stopped because of the cost. What cost? The last time I went through a divorce in Washington State, it cost $250 plus 2 times parking. The cost that they were talking about was the effort that the couple would need to go through to sell all of their assets. They realize that they cannot get the value of the payment that they made toward their homes. If they really want to be divorced, this would not be an issue. They would have had to work out the payments from both of them. They would have to work together to get out of debt. Then you want to think that if the money issue is the only reason that is keeping them from divorcing, then why did they marry in the first place? Where were their values?
Then we begin to look with our hearts. Do we feel the same? Are we looking for someone who has money so that they could take care of us (Ok, so that was a wish in my heart for a while, but I find that money is not to be the focus for me)?
Are we looking within their hearts to see if they have the same spiritual, financial, emotional values that we cherish?
Elder Theodore M. Burton stated “True love is based on personal unselfishness, but our modern world does not seem to understand this. Modern man has lost his capacity to love. Jesus warned us that one of the principal characteristics of the last days would be that love among the people would gradually die. Jesus said, ‘Because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold’. My thesis is that the iniquity of which he spoke is based on personal selfishness. That is the reason why love among the people is dying… It may well be that the present attitude of personal selfishness is the cause of most of the unhappiness with life among the people of the world.”
Antwoin and I find that we work together very well. We communicate. We give each other a chance to grow and we cheer each other on. I had been unemployed for a couple of months because of a family necessity and the interesting thing is that we were far more richer together because we spent a lot of our time together.
I hope that I have let go of my selfishness so that I can have the true love in my heart that needs to be there.