Choosing for Eternity, not until Death Do We Part

“The question ‘whom shall I marry?’ is an important one to ask, for the proper answer to this question brings a proper answer to many others. If you marry the proper ‘whom’ and if you marry in the proper ‘where,’ then you will have an infinitely better chance of happiness throughout all eternity” Spencer w. Kimball from the Importance of Celestial Marriage in the October 1979 Ensign.

I will admit, I married who I thought was the proper “Whom” in the proper “Where” and 14 years later, I found that he chose another pathway. This lead me to slow down in my choices and to really consider strongly when I do say “Yes”. Currently I am married to a wonderful man. I can compare him to the others I have married. The others were members of the church and 2 of the 3 held recommends. The other one was working on getting his.

My current husband was not a member, but he began a pathway of learning as fast as he can read and understand! There are moments recently that I am almost afraid that he will be surpassing me in the understanding of the scriptures and then I would be unable to help him. Then I remember that if that is the case, then he can help me understand the scriptures better. He has seen me work through trials and I have seen him in difficult situations. He gives me peace and anchors me instead of creating more chaos in my life.

Now the question is, which choice was or will be the best for me? I am finding that even though he was not a member of our church when I met him, Antwoin lives the gospel better than any of the ones who were. He is not learning the scriptures for my sake, but for his own. He asks questions that are deep and actually makes me think. He is excited because he finds that when he reads the scriptures, he is happier and his life is better on a day to day basis. I cheer him on because his focus is on becoming better than he was the day before.

Again, even though we were not married immediately in the Temple, with his desire and drive to understand what Heavenly Father has to give him, I actually see him as the best choice for me. There is hope and desire that we will be sealed in the Temple soon. But at his speed, not everyone else’s.

In conclusion, yes, the best choice is to marry the “whom” at the right “where”, but if that is not going to be a choice to happen immediately, do not turn your back on the best “whom” for you. Set a goal for the “Where” for as soon as you can and work together to make it happen. Remember, this is for eternity, so take your time-if you can.


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