We need to realize that marriage is a sign of maturity. If we or our future partner is not mature, it will lead to much heartbreak and sadness. This is coming from words of experience! According to Elder Mark E Peterson from the Quorum of the Twelve, “Immaturity in marriage leads to disaster. Do not marry unless you intend to make it permanent. Both parties must decide and agree to make it work regardless of the obstacles that may arise. To do that they must eliminate selfishness. These are among the main reasons for divorce-particularly among younger couples. In other words, a person contemplating marriage must be willing to grow up before they get married.
Immature people focus on the concept of “What have you done for me lately?” They think only about themselves and what they can get out of the relationship. A mature person’s focus is more upon the concept of sharing, growing together wanting to work things out in a peaceful manner. Remember, getting married is work. It is the hardest job you could ever sign up for. But it also gives the greatest blessings.
Compromise is the key to a mature person’s growth. They look at the long distance goals instead of instant gratification. They are willing to wait for something wonderful to happen. They are able to control their feelings so that they can focus on their partner’s wishes. They can be happy no matter what happens. They have the ability to accept responsibility and can be trusted. They seek counsel from other sources instead of depending on what they think they know. They have an ability to face depression and realize that it is only temporary. Elder Boyd K Packer said “It was meant to be that life would be a challenge. To suffer some anxiety, some depression, some disappointment, even some failure is normal. Teach our members that if they have a good, miserable day once in a while, or several in a row, to stand steady and face them. Things will straighten out. There is great purpose in our struggle in life.”
Just remember that not all of life is to be a struggle. Life can be happy and well-balanced. A mature person will normally be emotionally healthy as happy and optimistic about life. They are authentic and can control their temper and feelings of jealousy. They have hope and courage. They accept their physical appearance and will change what they can and be content with what they cannot. Because of their being well-balanced, they do not focus constantly on problems or challenges.
I have always hoped that I am mature with a flair for joy. That life is fun and has a semblance of order.