This one I have also had some experience with: Most people who are not members of the church do not join after marriage.
Ugh! Just thinking of that sentence does not make me happy. My first in-laws had this experience. She waited 10 years before he decided to join. She had to take the children to church by herself, she had to be the example to him the whole time and it was all because he did not like the law of tithing. When he let go of this and decided to join, he shortly became a bishop and then bounced back and forth between bishop and stake president (depending on where he was living at the time). This is one that is a “Happy ever after” experience, but I also have a friend who’s husband lives all of the ways of the church, but has no intention of joining. He does not mind her being a member, but he stands to the side and watches.
President Spencer W. Kimball wrote, “Yes, a small minority are finally baptized (after marrying church members). Some good men and women have joined the church after the inter-faith marriage and have remained most devout and active. God bless them! We are proud of them and grateful for them. These are our blessed minority.
“Others who do not join the church are still kind, considerate, and cooperative, and permit the member-spouse to worship and serve according to the church pattern… The majority, however, do not join the church-the odds are against the others. And nearly half of those (members) who marry out of the church become inactive.”
Wow! And I could easily have become one of those who are uncertain about our future. President Brigham Young believed, “There is not a young man in our community who would not be willing to travel from here to England to be married right, if he understood things as they are; there is not a young woman in our community, who loves the gospel and wishes it’s blessings, that would be married in any other way; they would live unmarried until they could be married as they should be, if they lived until they were as old as Sarah before she had Isaac born to her. Many of our brethern have married off their children without taking this into consideration, and thinking it is a matter of little importance. I wish we all understood this in the light which heaven understands it.”
We decided not to wait for legal as well as other reasons. To have Antwoin decide to become baptized before marriage gives us goals to work towards-together.
We need to stand strong in our beliefs and stay the best example that we can to achieve this ultimate goal.
May those of us who have considered these possibilities support each other so that we can also receive the ultimate blessings that we desire.