“Pride” and “Selfishness”

Today let us think about the word “Pride”.This is a word that I have spent a number of years learning about.

To use the word “Pride” is something that I am very careful in doing.

If I can exchange the word “Pride” with the word “Joy”, than it is a good thing, but if it is used to make a person feel better than another person, than it is not good. When I use the words “I am proud of my children”, I have to really think about whether I am using it to make myself better or if I am joyful for them.

President Ezra Taft Benson said that “pride is the Universal Sin of our day.” and “Selfishness is one of the more common faces of pride. ‘How everything affects me’ is the center of all that matters—self-conceit, self-pity, worldly self-fulfillment, self-gratification and self-seeking.” Please notice that the main word is SELF.

Watch out if we overindulge our children. Elder Hugh B. Brown stated “The child that is pampered in the home will be expected to be pampered after marriage. Among the seeds of divorce one of the most prolific is over-indulgence. It grows into extreme selfishness.”

With the world as it is today, that does not work. Right now, with the issues going on, there will be many families that will pull together and sadly, many families that will be torn apart.

If you have children, you may want to see which is the direction you are going in. Personally, I never could spoil my children because when it came to money I never had much surplus, but I did my best to teach them to be self-sufficient. That if they did not like the things the way they were, to make changes. To see what they could do to make life better.

I have done my best to kill the words “I can’t”. Because I taught them that those words are self-fulfilling. Using the words “I can’t” creates walls and barriers that are in the mind. Instead, I encouraged them to look for ways around that issue. Now, though they are not perfect, at least I see them not giving up. They are making efforts to help others. They try to grow with what they have. I have joy in my children. Another thought that needs to be considered: Elder Burton stated “What is the main purpose for dating? Isn’t it to get to know another person well enough to know that other person’s character, interests, talents, and abilities? Or is dating merely an opportunity to satisfy one’s passions? Each person will have to answer that question for himself. However, a sure guide would be to follow the words of the Savior: ‘Again I say unto you, let every man esteem his brother as himself’ (D&C 38:25)”

Let us share in the challenges together. We are not alone. Let go of the needs to be a TAKER and be more of a GIVER together. Are we selfish or selfless? Is the person we are interested in selfish or selfless as well?

As a recovering enabler, I found that I gave and gave and gave all through my marriages. But after a while, I found that I had nothing more to give and my spouses expected me to continue to give while they took and gave very little back. This is not an observation out of anger, but more an observation of patterns in my life. Because I see the pattern, I find that I have been letting go of the need to give all that I have to make others happy and am trying to give opportunities for others to give to me. Yes, it is hard to do, as many of my

closest friends know. I would still rather give anything that I have than to accept help-but am trying.

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