I found this quote and I truly love it: From the book called “How do you really know that you are in love?” it states
“Many of the problems we experience are the result of our own choosing.”
Re-read this sentence. Think about it. It is quite deep and I recommend that we go slowly with it.
My family judged me quite harshly concerning the upbringing of my children. They believe that it is my fault that the children are not perfect. But, I taught my children from an early age that all choices have consequences. Either good or bad, but still there are consequences to our choices.
As a recovering Enabler, I found the ability to say “No” instead of rescuing everyone to the point of my losing myself in their issues. I am still working on this part.
I gave my children the skills and tools to fix any of their problems and then had to step back and let them fix it themselves. This does not mean that I walked away and left them alone, I stood on the sidelines and cheered them on when they needed it. They are not alone, and they always let me know that this was the best choice that I could have ever done for them.
What does this mean to us? Well, if we choose to let things get out of hand when we begin kissing the person of our interest, we are losing more than we gain. I am referring to when we begin dating and what happens after our first kiss. Is it a simple kiss? Are hands involved? Are clothes making moves where you cannot be seen in public?
As President Spencer W. Kimball stated “Immorality brings generally a deep sense of guilt. These unresolved guilt complexes are the stuff from which mental breakdowns come, the building blocks of suicide, the fabric of distorted personalities, the wounds that scar or decapitate individuals or families.”
When we choose the good part of a gentle kiss, then step back or to end a date early instead of delaying because we are really interested in the other person and want more, we are giving ourselves a wonderful gift of being able to look in the mirror the next day and have peace in our hearts. There is always the gift of repentance and forgiveness, but if we can stop before we need to get to that point, is this not the better way?
I know that this is a very hard thing to do, but if you think about it, is not developing the relationship deeply more important than instant gratification?