No matter what you think to the contrary, you marry who you date and hang around with.
If you are hanging around a library, you might meet someone who makes efforts to improve their minds. If you hang around a gym, someone who is interested in health may be someone you meet. If you go to church, the person you meet will have the desire to improve their spiritual self. Elder Mark E Peterson counseled, “What kind of a crowd are you going with? What kind of a person will you marry? You will marry from the crowd you go with; and if you choose the non-churchgoing crowd, remember that is what you will get, and all it includes. Think, consider it carefully, and then act safely.”
Also, President Spencer W. Kimball said, “Choosing a marriage partner is a vital decision. The greatest single factor affecting what you are going to be tomorrow, your activity, your attitudes, your eventual destiny… is one decision you make that moonlit night when you ask that individual to be your companion for life. That’s the most important decision of your entire life! It isn’t where you are going to school, or what lessons you are going to study, or what your major is, or how you are going to make your living. These, though important, are incidental and nothing compared with the important decision that you make when you ask someone to be your companion for eternity.” He also said, “You cannot afford to take a chance on falling in love with someone who may never accept the gospel.”
I attended a wedding where the couple met at a dance hall. The bride I have known for a while and she always seems to be so energetic when she goes to the dances. It would come naturally that she would find someone who loves to dance. Ok, so they did not meet at one of the church dances, but they did meet in a place that encourages good things.
I know of many who met at the Ensign Ranch (a special place for a special single adult activity on Labor Day weekend) who then get married within a year or so later. I know of many who meet at the Temple and marry because they have the same goals.
I was going to most of the single adult activities in hopes that I would meet someone who was like-minded and matched my desires. Instead, I kept matching everyone up to everyone else. I would introduce new friends to friends I have known for a while. It seemed like there is an engagement announced almost every week! The last activity I went to I realized that I only knew 1/2 of the people there and only about 10 of them well. I guess I was doing my job just a little too well…
When Antwoin and I met, he was not scared away when I told him of my beliefs and my choices in the church. Actually, he felt inadequate because of my choices and left my life for a while because of that. Now, he is jumping into my life with both feet and his eyes wide open. We find that there is a lot of things in common and the most important things are the things that we agree on.
So yes, you do marry the ones that you meet in the places that you frequent. You do marry those that think, feel and believe like you do.
So, my thought is this: If you want to marry someone who you wish to be a certain way, be there yourself. Do the things that you want him/her to be doing. Encourage others so that they can also have opportunities.
The doors are open, we just need to walk through them.